Friends,

Good morning! Welcome to The Gentlemen Elite. Today’s newsletter is a distillation of my biggest takeaways from business school. I wrote this a few months after graduation, and the lessons remain true even years later.

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1. Make More Than You Take

In the context of human evolution, we are at peak consumption levels. There has never been more to buy, watch, or be addicted to. It’s easy to fall into the mindless cycle of:

• Work

• Gym (maybe)

• Eat

• Netflix

• Sleep* (*scroll through your phone for two hours, then sleep)

A common thread amongst my ridiculously impressive classmates was their total rejection of this life model and over-investment of time in the act of creation. 

Yes, of course, we watched every episode of Game of Thrones, but the energy my peers put into creation separated them from any group I’d ever been around. I’d argue it was the driving force behind what made many so exceptional.

My classmates didn’t spend much time seated, staring at screens. They were constantly investing energy in things with tangible (often compounding) returns beyond a short-term dopamine hit. Some of the more common examples:

• Planning / Cooking group dinners (Creating community)

• Creating Special Interest Groups & Clubs (Creating networks)

• Performing / Sharing work (Creating art)

• Launching start-ups (Creating companies)

• Planning trips (Creating shared experiences)

As I reflect on this, I realize consumption often leaves me feeling empty and wanting more, whereas creation leaves me feeling full and wanting to do more. One takes energy away; the other is a source of energy.

After business school, I’ve been more aware of my ratio of creation to consumption and am constantly looking for opportunities to make things (e.g., this blog).

2. Building Your "Brand" Isn't Just About You

There is much talk about the importance of networking and personal brand building. Unfortunately, much of what I read and hear on the topic is too self-serving and alarmingly disingenuous.

Obviously, being “known” and associated with good things is valuable in business and life. However, my classmates took a counterintuitive approach to networking. At events, they focused on being of service to others, not talking about themselves.

Historically, I’m uncomfortable in crowds where the sole purpose is to wander around aimlessly and mingle. At Stanford networking events, despite my best efforts to be invisible, people would approach and inquire about what dreams I was chasing or challenges I was facing in life and how they might help.

The resulting conversations were enjoyable, productive, and utterly devoid of awkwardness. I quickly realized this was a trick I could employ to meet a ton of interesting humans AND decouple myself from the snack tray.

Instead of going to events looking to make connections to benefit me, I began approaching events with a focus on how my connections and experience could help others. This gave me a more defined purpose, and the simple reframing shifted my conversations from superficial to deep, led to lasting connections, and made me feel like I earned the 20 crab cakes and four La Croix’s I consumed.

3. Live Loud

My classmates were literally the happiest and LOUDEST people in every setting: Libraries, restaurants, bars, planes, and even at the all-school graduation where we were one of the smaller groups collecting diplomas.

They oozed energy, would chat up anybody, pet EVERY dog (often without asking), and were so excited about life they physically couldn’t shut up. I’m certain if you were to ask, “What are you SO GOD DAMN EXCITED ABOUT?!” the majority would answer, “I actually don’t know… but isn't it GREAT?!?!”

Seeing this on a daily basis reminded me that the only thing in life I control is my attitude. And seeing classmates attract new friends, jobs, and opportunities with their contagious energy confirmed that I can and should be manufacturing my own positive momentum on a daily basis. All things being equal, being “so happy you can't shut up” is probably a good attitude to choose.

A common critique of business school students is that they’re overly confident. I think this is because their general excitement and joy for being alive is often misconstrued.

A quick note to the introverts: the literal loudness of my classmates is merely a metaphor for being “all in” on life. There are many ways to manifest this. By being unapologetically themselves and enthused about everything, I saw my classmates give more and in return, get more from life.

Pet all the dogs. Laugh easily. Live Loud.

Upwards with Gusto,

Ian